I’m not going to lie, it makes me sad every time I see another social media announcement of an engagement that includes the words “I can’t wait to marry my best friend.” Actually, there’s nothing worse than these. Why? I think it is LAZY. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for you and your engagement, but your best friend…really? *cue eye roll*
Like one, could you not come up with anything a little more original to describe the person you have gotten to know intimately over the course of your relationship? I’m no relationship expert, but if you have nothing else to say about this person it doesn’t seem like marriage should be in your immediate future. I’m sure the reason you want to spend the rest of your life with your significant other goes beyond that he is just a really great friend. Maybe start by listing some of his best attributes that make you love him, why he is a great partner, something….?
And two, do you really mean that? Is this person really your best friend? If so, should they be?
Call me old school, but I don’t think your significant other should be your best friend. Here’s why:
Some Things Should Just Be Separate
Best friends are people you should be able to share everything with. And yes, you can say the same about your significant other, but some things should just be kept separate. If you are a couple that lives together, you already spend the majority of your time collectively. Therefore, you need your own hobbies and friends. If you are constantly on top of each other spending every waking moment not spent at work concurrently, chances are, someone might lose it.
You know what I love about Daniel? He knows what he likes and what he doesn’t like. He doesn’t try to pretend to be interested in the same things as me. It has worked out in my benefit. For example, that one time he said “I’ll buy your ticket to Justin Timberlake if it means I don’t have to go with you.” Win-win!
You know how they say, you need to know sadness to know happiness? Same concept. If you spend some time apart its likely you will be more appreciative of the time you do have together.
Keep the Attraction Strong
Nothing gets me more excited than when Daniel decides to go out with friends. Why? I can do gross girly things like pick my black heads and do a face mask without him around. These are the type of things I have no problem doing with my friends, but I’d rather not Daniel see.
Don’t get me wrong, Daniel has certainly seen me at my worst and with a facemask on, but I like illusion that keeping my appearance is somewhat effortless. I may have some really repulsive habits, but there’s just some things he doesn’t need to know. I’d like to believe it keeps the attraction a little bit stronger if he doesn’t know exactly how I get there. There being: zit free, and no make up. (Praise Jesus for eyelash extensions!)
Lets just lay it out there, call me sexist, whatever, but guys just don’t communicate like girls. For example, when telling a story, guys don’t add in any details they don’t think are necessary to telling the story. Girls on the other hand, include more details than necessary.
We all just want to be heard. So when I need to vent or tell a story, I’m going to go to other people first. Also, I can’t complain to Daniel about something he did because he already knows he is in the wrong. But I still need to get things off my chest so that’s where my girlfriends come in handy.
And when I am upset with Daniel and vent to a girlfriend? I get the time apart I need to cool down and collect my thoughts so that I come back with a clear mind and we can have a conversation about what ever it was.
Communication is key in any relationship, some things need to be talked out but most guys aren’t much for talking too much. Talk to your man about what is important and save the other things for your best friends.
Before you try to say anything, YES I realize you can have more than one best friend. And your significant other can maintain a lot of the same qualities and responsibilities a best friend does. My point here is that the person you are going to marry should be much more than just your best friend, so stop diminishing him to that in your Facebook announcement.
Let’s keep it at this: the “Best Friend” status after you get engaged is a cop out, and its LAZY. Tell us why you really love him and can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him. It doesn’t have to be as elaborate as my example. But give us a little more inside to your relationship.
And to all you girls that had the best friend status, I don’t mean to offend you. Honestly, I don’t. But I want to challenge you to classify your partner beyond just your best friend. Because he should be the love of your life, not your WHOLE life!
Disagree?? Let me know!